Wednesday, August 26, 2009

BAP Draft Day

I recently discovered that whenever I'm nearing the completion of a BAP*, it sends "Wish You Were Here" postcards to all my other unstitched BAPs. I know this because they all get SOOOOO excited at the idea that THEY might be NEXT! From the point the postcards go out, it's all "choose me, pick me" to quote my BGAFF*, Meredith (Season Six premiere on 9/24 y'all). But the one-up-manship between them, I mean, it's the cutest thing ever! It starts slow and sneaky, like showing up in a three second snippet of a random dream. But it doesn't take long for the sneakiness to turn into outright brazeness and shamelessness, interrupting my work day, drive time, lunchtime, etc., until I'm drowning in a virtual tsunami of subliminal messages! I imagine, for them, it's a lot like NFL draft day......bless their hearts.

Here's how it plays out in my head:

Sportscaster #1: Gooooooood Evening Stitchfans and welcome to BAP Draft Day at Marnie Manor, where the air is electric with excitement and you can cut the tension with a knife!

Sportscaster #2: You said it Marv! The room is a-buzz with anticipation! I've never seen a better collection of PIGs, WIPs, UFOs, and virtual unknowns gathered in one place. The line-up of candidates is as long and impressive as the dessert table at a Baptist barbeque.

Sportscaster #1: I couldn't have put it better myself, Gene! The entire class of hopefuls have been struting and preening and frankly, couldn't look better than they do tonight! Any one of these characters would make an excellent first round pick. I don't know HOW anyone could choose just one among these outstanding contenders. But that IS what we are here for.....tell our listeners who you think is on the short list, Gene.

Sportscaster #2: Well Marv, I've lost count of the peacocks and pineapples roaming the room. We've got a strong contingency of WIPs making some noise in the parlor, but no one should count out the UFOs in the back of the room. It is pretty obvious though, the PIGs have come to play. I would say THEY are the team to beat. With that said, it's anybody's guess Marv.

Sportscaster #1: You said it Gene! It is anyone's guess - Will The Lady of the House go BIG or small, w i d e or TALL? We've heard rumors of a beaded fish, a legendary needlebook, a trio of wise men and beaucoup blackwork. Of course, who's to say she will put all her eggs in one basket, Gene? It's a well known fact that she needs more than one player to fill out her roster. Actually, we could speculate all night!

Sportscaster #2: Great point Marv. I can tell you that the scouts have been working overtime and earning their paychecks! The standouts gathered in this room represent the best this area has to offer but, at the same time, it's a very cosmopolitan, diverse group. In a nutshell, Marv, there's something here to suit everyone's taste!

Sportscaster #1: In-deed! But, the question remains......WHO WILL BE NEXT!?! We will have to live with the suspense a little while longer until the Lady of the House speaks. We have it on good authority that she has consulted with her advisors and is ready to make an announcment.

So stay tuned stitchfans...we'll be right back after these messages.

*BGAFF = Best Grey's Anatomy Friend Forever
*BAP = Big A$$ Project


  1. Very funny!

    I think I know most of the acronyms you've used, but what is a PIG, please?

    I have tears in my eyes that was sooooo funny!

  3. PIG = Project in a Grocery sack.
    Translation = a project complete with chart, fabric, threads, beads, buttons, and any other supplies needed, all bagged up in a project bag, ready to be begun.

  4. I love looking at your blog. It inspirees me! I'm working on my newly remodeled stitching room and will soon begin making PIGs.

    Thanks for the help!

  5. Go Big Red, Marnie! Cin

  6. You are one crazy chick! Reading your blog makes my day a little brighter.