How many Ho's does it take to do Santa?

Sounds like the beginning to a very bad joke, huh? 

Well, actually, I kinda wish it was a joke.  Instead, it is a very real question that I've spent a good deal of time considering lately.  You see, I'm trying to figure how many "Ho Ho Hos" I would need to stitch on a band to go around this extremely cute little turkeyworked Santa in order to make a mattress style pin cushion ornament.    Wouldn't he be just adorable with a "Ho Ho Ho" band all the way around him?  Maybe a tassel at the bottom and a twisted cord hanger at the top?

Sounds simple enough, right? Measure the perimeter of your ornament, multiple by the count of your fabric, divide by 2 and there you go, right? One would think so.  BUT, just about then, I had a math flashback to 7th grade where we learned Pythagorean theorem or the rule of right angle triangles, you know, "A squared + B squared = C squared". 

Since the Jolly Ol' Elf was set up perfectly for a diamond shaped ornament, I said to myself, WAIT JUST A COTTON PICKIN MINUTE HERE.  I think I've seen this before on a Math Field Day test....from the tip of the ornament to the left most point is 1.5 inches, but that does not equate to 21 stitches on my 28 count fabric (1"=14, 1.5"=21).  NO SIREE BOB.  Let's see here, yep, looks like the math points to 16 stitches!  Okay, so 16 stitches per side, four sides, that makes 64 stitches.  So I need to chart a band, 64 stitches long, with Hos on the right and Hos on the left and an eyelet in the center for the twisted cord hanger.  Right?  Wrong.  I'm not stitching the Hos on the diagonal.  If I were stitching the Hos diagonally, that calculation would be right.  However, I'm stitching the Hos on the straight, so I need 6 inches of Hos altogether, which on 28 ct (over 2) amounts to 84 stitches or 42 to center for eyelet.  SO (shaking head).  How many Hos does it take to cover 40 or less stitches?  It depends on whether you're stitching big Hos or little Hos.  Big Hos can cover 8 to 10 stitches, while little Hos might just cover 7.  

The worst part about this whole thing is that as busy as the hubby and I have been lately, I haven't been able to sit down with pencil and paper and chart this out, so at night, instead of visions of sugarplums, you guessed it, I'm having visions of Hos!  What I know for sure is that I'll be lacing an 84 stitch-long band into a border of 64 backstitches around my Santa. 

How many Hos Santa will actually end up with is still a mystery, but the fewer, the better, (just ask Tiger).  Oh yes I did!